Sunday May 16th, 2010 @ 5:55am he swam into my arms and i fell in love all over again. He’s gorgeous and awesome…i’m still taking him all in.

keeping mostly in the moments here, i have yet to write our birth story. the short version; it was fast - 3 hrs 39 mins.  supported - the house was full with my women. smooth - i moved, paced and talked through most of it. surprising - a boy! those first days were sweet, gushy and short. the abundance of milk was once again overwhelming! the crash of hormones unyielding. it’s good to be on the flip side. me and my littles are out and about. on that note, Little A has been really patient and amazing, all the while breaking a new tooth - so many transitions for him.

(thanks for all of your comments in the previous post. i can’t figure out how to make this blog private so it remains open for now. )

little A said to me the other day about these magnolia buds, “let’s open them up and see inside”.

this reminded me of something Glo wrote;

Nine days ago, a student in my doula course brought me a beautiful
bouquet of white lilies which I put into a vase full of water.   I
pointed out to the doulas that some of the flowers had "fully dilated"
and were displaying their exuberant female genitalia while others were
closed up tight or just a fingertip dilated.  I asked the students what
they thought might happen if I "helped" the closed ones to open a bit by
manipulating the delicate petals.  They were horrified at the thought,
of course, and were completely confident that the flowers would work
things out on their own.

The flowers were left to themselves and gave off a lovely aroma to those
who came in and out of the office through the week.  On the fifth day
that they were in my care, they served as a model for a midwifery course
on the vulva, vagina and cervix.  Still a few of these flowers seemed to
be stuck in "failure to progress".  They were unyielding and refusing to
open.

This morning I went into the office and noticed that some of the lilies
had turned brown.  These were the early bloomers and, as I picked them
off and discarded them, I noticed that every single blossom had fully
and perfectly bloomed.  The office had been closed for three days.  The
bouquet of lilies had been alone, dark and unassisted and all had
bloomed into full beauty and splendour.  They had only received one big
drink of water when I originally put them into the vase.

These flowers are such a beautiful metaphor for having faith in the
perfection of birth. 

Gloria Lemay, Vancouver

i am learning/noticing that in comparing my 2 pregnancies this one is not at all the same as the last.  i had it real easy with little A in so very many ways.  i’m not saying that things are super tough this time but i really need to let the first experience be just that and open up to the new way my body wants to stretch and grow as a vessel for this babe. i’ve been experiencing an assortment of pains and tweaks these past months that have been making me uncomfortable and feeling anxious, scared about how this birth experience could be really painful. i was reminded by Glo with a story, that feeling pain in childbirth is essential so one knows how to move ones body. it clicked. i had been trying to move and do things the way i did in my first pregnancy and when it wasn’t working i felt like i was flailing, tensing up with more pain. this new yoga class i’m going to, they dance and make a lot of noise and it’s so fun and it feels so good to find new movement - so that’s where i’m off to this morning.

a quick project - i freshened up little A’s receiving blankets and sewed on some beautiful linens.

when asked if he thought it would be a girl baby or a boy, little A replied,  “i think we should call it a she but i hope it’s a boy because i don’t want it to grow up and make more babies”. oh my.  he’s curious and finding his place in this birth/sibling planning thing. his friends have become older siblings but he’s not so sure what that all means or if he’s up for it. we all have our anxieties about stirring up the current threesome  - it’s an adventure to unfold for sure.

at first he thought i was saying ‘baby in the room’ and was asking a lot of questions about what it looked like so we each sat down to draw our own versions. his rocked!

a story he made up and had me write for him (it was one big long run on sentence - i had to sneak some periods in there somewhere);

his spelling by sounding out the words amazes me! “i drew the pictures of the book written by mommy”

so fun.

Never before this birth have i seen a mom so capable and loving to labor and parent simultaneously and gracefully. i was quite in awe.

The room was so full of love and support from a great group of birth lovers! Mama being a Doula herself supported by her best friend (also a Doula), her sister (also a Doula and Doctor of Chinese Medicine) and 2  midwives later joined by a third. Papa and the eldest son crept in to support in the final hours of a fairly long process and the youngest son woke just in time to welcome his new sibling.

overwhelmed but only for a moment;

so much joy! a daughter, a sister, a niece, a friend.

welcome sweet baby gal;

you are so loved;

She was amazing and beautiful. i feel so lucky to have been witness and support to this smooth and beautiful home water birth. For weeks her belly muscles worked, strengthened, contracted. Her blessingway date was pushed forward, anticipating an early birth and then a couple weeks later, on her own birthday and right on time, little Ocean Dylan was gently born and welcomed into a roomful of love.

i love so much about this photograph and the room - Sabrina doing her thing naturally, Glen’s easy smile, the kids curiosity of the pool filling and the painting of S pregnant with her first little one. Loud ocean waves and drum beats set the mood for a birth dance. Everyone around her wore a smile.

Some kids are so obviously meant to be older siblings and this is so true for Skai. Her presence at her baby brother’s birth was a blessing for everyone.

support;

inward, openness, softness, strength, surrender;

Welcome little one. We have been waiting to meet you.

Sometimes i attend births - as a friend, a doula, photographer, acupuncturist…i love it. As a SAHM i am mostly unable to commit to attending the unpredictable hours of a birth but sometimes baby time and my own childcare possibilities and schedules co-ordinate and i get to bliss out in that birthing energy which seems to put life into perspective so perfectly. it is the most real experience to observe and support the space of a beautiful natural birth.

This gal inspired me long before conceiving my own babe. i attended the birth of her first son. i’m not sure how much i helped her but she was so amazing and inspiring and from then on i was an advocate of natural birth. i arrived 1 day late for the birth of her daughter who she birthed unassisted at home - just herself, her 2 year old son and her mother were there to welcome the new babe.

A year later i was sticking needles in my sister to augment a slow 1st stage of labor. Again i’m not sure how much i helped but it was pretty incredible to be present for the birth of my nephew. My sister completely surprised herself with her ability and strength. She was amazing and her husband a proud papa.

i attended other births here and there when i could, was invited, hired… i met this woman in prenatal yoga and attended the home birth of her daughter when i was 5 months pregnant myself. i swear she could have birthed completely on her own and she nearly did with me at her back and the midwife barely in the door. it was so cool to see, for my first time, the membranes still in tact at birth. Look at her perfectly round head because of it. beautiful!

i wish i had photos to show of other beautiful births i’ve attended but i wasn’t shooting digital then and the idea of scanning negs seems completely time consuming and unappealing so this it for now - a little glimpse of a work i love that is deeply inspired.

Congratulations! again and again. i felt so much confidence that this would be a beautiful and natural birth. I’m sure it was a long and challenging experience for Anna, and Randy too, but to me, spending the night curled up on their couch in and out of sleep with the constant wave of birth toning, waxing and waning, i felt more calm and relaxed than i have in a long while. She was so strong and patient, he was completely supportive and present. Glo, who also attended Arlo’s birth is the ultimate holder of sacred space and Kirstin, another mama expecting her 3rd was very generous in sharing the couch and a sleeve of her sweater while we waited and slept through the night until early morning when i (lucky lucky me) got to see this gorgeous boy born right into his papa’s bare hands. How beautiful is that? Thank you guys for inviting me to photograph this most special birthing day. Happy Big Brother Day to Bodhi. i’m so excited for all of you. Happy nesting.

gush. this moment stirred much emotion for me. it was so very special. Little B meeting his littler baby brother;

moments after birth;