the real birthday is much quieter and most special for me as a mama. this morning driving to school, Little A was sharing his scone with Little M and he said, ” i love how M signs “more”.” and from there the conversation went much like this;
E – aww me too. i love how he tries to use all the signs he knows so far to communicate other things to us.
A – i love how he says “Da” for duck and “Ba” for bath and how he says “mamamamama”
E- i love how he makes kissy noises when he eats applesauce.
A – i love how he clucks his tongue.
E – i love how he snuggles into me and plays peekaboo.
A – i love how he claps his hands.
E – me too, i love how you two hold hands.
A – i love how he makes Hoppy (the stuffed bunny) hop.
E – i love how he eats everything.
A – i love how he comes into Kindergarten and crawls everywhere.
E – i love how when i walk into the room he drops everything and comes wandering my way.
A – i love how he shows me things and holds them out but then clutches them to himself before i can get it.
E – i love how he plays chase.
A – i love how he likes me to catch him.
E – i love how each morning he opens the blinds in the bedroom to look out at the world from above.
A – i love how he tries to chew on his cup.
E – i love how he tries to catch steam.
A – i love how he laughs.
E – i love how he bangs on the first step to let me know that he’s on his way up.
A – i love how he throws the ducks in the bath tub.
E – i love how he loves the bath.
A – i love how he grabs the water coming out of the tap and then looks at his hands wondering where it is.
E – i love that too.
A – i love how he climbs up the stairs.
E – i love how you both play and hide under the dining table.
A – i love how he rubs his eyes when he’s tired.
E – i love that he pees on the potty each morning.
A – i love how he loves to try and turn the buttons on the record player and it’s funny how he turns your computer off.
E – i love that he’s such a rascal.
A – i love how he likes to eat scones.
E – i love how he likes to get right into the garden and the dirt.
A – i love how he plays ball and how sometimes it goes behind him and he doesn’t know where it is.
E – i love how he makes motor sounds for the blender and coffee grinder.
A – i love how he likes to chew on things.
E – i love his sleepy song.
A – i love how he colors.
E – i love his wee little bed head when he wakes up from a restful sleep.
A – i love how he points at things like crows and branches and sticks….
E – i love how he reaches for someone across the room, trying to connect the distance.
and so on….
something sweet about mothering is how small it forces your world to become. i swear there’s a switch in our brains when we give birth. some people call it mommy brain but i think of it more as mental housekeeping and a means of tuning into the present and immediate surrounding – tuning into the needs of this new little being in our arms. we begin to live more in the moment than ever and all that outside stuff like returning phone calls and keeping up with emails…. just goes to the back burner. we’d all go crazy trying to remember dates and trying to keep up with worlds away from our bubble. we find and keep a rhythm that works. this time in my parenting round i am finding it way easier to “let go” of some of my ideals and expectations. i feel way more relaxed and i feel full from loving him deeply.